ER Humor

A 28-year old male was brought into the ER after an attempted suicide. The man
had swallowed several nitroglycerin pills and a fifth of vodka. When asked about
the bruises about his head and chest he said that they were from him ramming
himself into the wall in an attempt to make the nitroglycerin explode.

- The most non-emergency ER visit: A male adolescent came in at 2 a.m. with a
complaint of belly button lint.

- A young female came to the ER with lower abdominal pain. During the exam and
questioning the female denied being sexually active. The doctor gave her a
pregnancy test anyway and it came back positive. The doctor went back to the
young female's room.
Doctor: "The results of your pregnancy test came back positive. Are you sure
you're not sexually active?"
Patient: "Sexually active? No, sir, I just lay there."
Doctor: "I see. Well, do you know who the father is?"
Patient: "No. Who?"

- A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the
hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the
old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old
daughter that her mother didn't make it.
"Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five
minutes ago!"