Dr. Butts - a colorectal surgeon
Dr. Richard Butcher - general surgeon
Dr. Sueme
Dr. John P. Long - urologist
Dr. Toothman - DDS
Dr. Blinder - ophthalmologist
Dr. Foote - podiatrist
Dr. Anolik
Dr. Bluett - cardiovascular surgeon
Dr. Sen (pronounced sin) - psychiatrist
Dr. Butts - proctologist
Dr. Tickle - veterinarian
Dr. Chow - GI
Dr. Bamforth - chiropractor
Dr. Slaughter - oral surgeon
Dr. Loveless - AID/HIV specialist
Dr. Fear - veterinarian
Dr. Orth - orthopedic surgeon
Dr. Harry Beaver - gynecologist (!)
Dr. Killingsworth - surgeon
Dr. Death - anesthesiologist
Dr. Bony Fields Barrineau - orthopedist
Dr. James E. Shotts - otolaryngology
Dr. Luis Concepcion - OB/Gyn
Dr. Pain - DDS
Dr. Lips - DDS
Dr. Popp - chiropractor
Dr. Colon - Gastroenterologist
Dr. Doan Du Dat
Dr. Hans Peter Horney
Dr. Waterfallen - gynecologist
Dr. Amil Butt - proctologist
Dr. Hole, D.O. - gynecologist
Dr. Luck - orthopedic surgeon
Dr. Sunshine - ER doc
Dr. FU - unknown specialty
Dr. Gause - Orthopedics
Dr. Goodenough - Neurology
Dr. Lipman - dermatologist
Dr. Smyle - pediatrician
Dr. Dart - vascular surgeon
Dr. Strait Fairey - Family Practice
Dr. Balz - proctologist
Dr. Woomer - OB/GYN
Dr. Hacker - surgeon
Dr. Bone - orthopedist
Dr. Leslie Plack - DDS
Dr. Bonebreaker
Dr. Bonesetter
Dr. Paw - Cardiology
Source: http://www.mtdaily.com/jokes.html
MT Search
Custom Search
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Medical Charts
The following are actual, unedited, notes written by doctors on
patients' medical charts:
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
2. On the second day the knee was better,
and on the third day it disappeared completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in
1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing, decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
8. The patient refused an autopsy.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a forty pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
pregnant.
14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you
might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life
until she got a divorce.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a
job as a stockbroker instead.
27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should
sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Source: http://www.med-psych.net/humor/joke0037.html
patients' medical charts:
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
2. On the second day the knee was better,
and on the third day it disappeared completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in
1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing, decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
8. The patient refused an autopsy.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant
with only a forty pound weight gain in the past three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
pregnant.
14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you
might like to work her up.
15. She is numb from her toes down.
16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life
until she got a divorce.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a
job as a stockbroker instead.
27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should
sit on the abdomen, and I agree.
30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
Source: http://www.med-psych.net/humor/joke0037.html
Medical Humours
WHAT THE DOCTOR WROTE:
The following quotes were taken from real medical records as dictated, word
by word, by the physicians..........
The following quotes were taken from real medical records as dictated, word
by word, by the physicians..........
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Source: http://www.med-psych.net/humor/joke0024.htmlFunny Transcription Errors
A COLLECTIVE FROM MEDICAL INTERVIEW RECORDS WRITTEN BY VARIOUS PARAMEDICS, EMERGENCY ROOM RECEPTIONISTS, AND (WE ARE AFRAID) A DOCTOR OR TWO AT MAJOR HOSPITALS.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
She is numb from her toes down.
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Source:http://www.med-psych.net/humor/joke0015.html
Friday, May 4, 2007
MedQuist Releases Version 1.1 of Ovation Voice Capture Platform
MedQuist Inc. , the leading of medical transcription outsourcing and clinical documentation workflow solutions, announces the release of version 1.1 of its voice capture platform, DocQment(TM) Ovation. This latest software release gives HIM professionals superior management of their medical documentation when using outsourced transcription service providers.
"Ovation has been very successful for us thus far. We signed 20 customers within the first six months of launching this Web-based, enterprise digital voice capture and transport solution last year. As they complete their implementations, customers are experiencing improved turnaround times with new workflow tools such as Quality Control and ADT backfill. Version 1.1 will add to these capabilities with enhanced reporting capabilities and management options that will help provide better control of the document from dictation through signature," says Scott Bennett, MedQuist senior vice president of Sales and Marketing.
"Outsourcing is a valuable resource for healthcare providers," adds Emmy Weber, MedQuist vice president of Product Management, "and our customers have indicated the need for more advanced work management tools in order to effectively manage multiple outsourcing vendors as well as internal transcriptionists." Ovation version 1.1 addresses these needs at the point of dictation and is specifically engineered to tightly integrate with MedQuist's dictation, speech recognition and transcription platform while interfacing smoothly with other outsourcing vendors.
Key enhancements with version 1.1 include:
-- New reporting capabilities;
-- Improved QA/QC controls and workflow options;
-- Enhanced functionality of the Ovation Enterprise Workstation;
-- A Quick View of document lists; and
-- Streamlined dashboard view to manage users, voice files and
documents.
According to Jennifer Busby, HIM director at Maury Regional Healthcare System in Columbia, Tenn., "DocQment Ovation makes us better managers because it enables us to use the information we have more effectively. DocQment Ovation, with the ability to capture patient ADT information, allows a front- end quality control process that streamlines the entire document workflow. This also improves the overall accuracy of the upload to our HIS system. Our MT productivity has increased approximately 18 percent, allowing the MTs to focus on transcription. Overall, we can see where we have overflow, or in some cases, underused capacity. Now we can shift resources to the highest need areas more quickly, without disruption to our system of care."
For more information, contact a local MedQuist representative or dial 1-800-233-3030 for sales assistance.
MedQuist, a member of the Philips Group of Companies, is a leading provider of clinical documentation workflow solutions in support of the electronic health record. MedQuist provides electronic medical transcription, and health information and document management products and services, including digital dictation, speech recognition, Web-based transcription, electronic signature, medical coding, mobile dictation devices, and outsourcing services.
"Safe Harbor" Statement under the U.S. Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995: Statements in this press release regarding MedQuist's business which are not historical facts are "forward-looking statements" that involve risks and uncertainties. Such risks and uncertainties, which could cause actual results to differ from those contained in forward-looking statements include, but are not limited to: (1) our ability to recruit and retain qualified transcriptionists and other employees; (2) the impact of new services or products on the demand for our existing services; (3) our current dependence on medical transcription for substantially all of our business; (4) our ability to expand our customer base; (5) changes in law, including, without limitation, the impact the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) will have on our business; (6) infringement on the proprietary rights of others; (7) risks inherent in diversifying into other businesses; (8) any continuation of pricing pressures and declining billing rates; (9) difficulties relating to the implementation of management changes throughout the Company; (10) the outcome of pending and future legal and regulatory proceedings and investigations; and (11) any direct or indirect impact of the matters disclosed in the Form 8-K filed by the Company on March 19, 2007. Actual outcomes and results may differ materially from what is expressed or forecasted in forward-looking statements. As a result, forward- looking statements speak only as of the date they were made, and the Company undertakes no obligation to publicly update or revise any forward-looking statements, whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.
Source: http://sev.prnewswire.com/health-care-hospitals/20070503/NETH02903052007-1.html
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Funny Work Thing
By Lisa W.
Whenever a new "customer" (per our company's policy, we no longer have patients...or clients...they are "customers") is admitted to our program, I perform an hour to hour and a half comprehensive medical history and physical examination. I then dictate this assessment, identifying all pertinent diagnoses...from ingrown toenails to head lice to whatever...and develop a treatment plan with referrals and recommendations for additional care needed beyond my scope of practice..i.e. ...dental, vision..etc. This dictated document is generally 5-6 typed pages. In an interesting cost savings maneuver, our transcription service has been farmed out to someplace in Nepal. Yes..Nepal. We are in Alaska. Global community? Whatever. Anyway....there are some interesting and unique interpretations of medical descriptive terms that have come across my laptop for editing. Such as:
Under medications, herbs, nutritional supplements:
My dictation: " reports chamomile tea several times daily for relaxation"
The finished transcript: " reports camel milk tea several times daily..." cute. But it costs me time/keystrokes to make the edits, and if my records ever ended up in court for any reason...i can just imagine some attorney grilling my but about where folks get camel milk in Alaska....
My dictation: "complains of discharge with foul odor"
The finished transcript: "complains of discharge, smells like chicken".....it took me a second...foul..fowl..chicken....
I am not making this up!
Source:http://lisamidwifeknits.blogspot.com/2007/03/funny-work-thing.html
Whenever a new "customer" (per our company's policy, we no longer have patients...or clients...they are "customers") is admitted to our program, I perform an hour to hour and a half comprehensive medical history and physical examination. I then dictate this assessment, identifying all pertinent diagnoses...from ingrown toenails to head lice to whatever...and develop a treatment plan with referrals and recommendations for additional care needed beyond my scope of practice..i.e. ...dental, vision..etc. This dictated document is generally 5-6 typed pages. In an interesting cost savings maneuver, our transcription service has been farmed out to someplace in Nepal. Yes..Nepal. We are in Alaska. Global community? Whatever. Anyway....there are some interesting and unique interpretations of medical descriptive terms that have come across my laptop for editing. Such as:
Under medications, herbs, nutritional supplements:
My dictation: " reports chamomile tea several times daily for relaxation"
The finished transcript: " reports camel milk tea several times daily..." cute. But it costs me time/keystrokes to make the edits, and if my records ever ended up in court for any reason...i can just imagine some attorney grilling my but about where folks get camel milk in Alaska....
My dictation: "complains of discharge with foul odor"
The finished transcript: "complains of discharge, smells like chicken".....it took me a second...foul..fowl..chicken....
I am not making this up!
Source:http://lisamidwifeknits.blogspot.com/2007/03/funny-work-thing.html
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
What Equipment is "Nice to Have" as a Medical Transcriptionist?
-By Hava Lyon
I discussed the basics needed to become a medical transcriptionist here. Once you get going as an MT and start making money, you may find that you are more profitable if you invest in some equipment above and beyond the absolute bare minimums. Sometimes these extras are required when getting hired on with a medical transcription company, but usually they are just strongly encouraged, not required.
Expanders are another piece of invaluable equipment when it comes to saving you time, but since it is not something that a person uses in their normal everyday life, I thought I would dedicate an entire blog to just them. Thanks for reading!
Source:http://employment.families.com/blog/what-equipment-is-nice-to-have-as-a-medical-transcriptionist
I discussed the basics needed to become a medical transcriptionist here. Once you get going as an MT and start making money, you may find that you are more profitable if you invest in some equipment above and beyond the absolute bare minimums. Sometimes these extras are required when getting hired on with a medical transcription company, but usually they are just strongly encouraged, not required.
These "extras" are things like a medical spell checker, nice headphones, Word program, medical dictionary, and an expander of some sort. Although I talked in the last blog about how cheap headphones can be used during the course, once you have income coming in, you may want to look at buying a nicer pair to use. These headphones are on your head 8 hours a day, and along with the fact that nicer headphones feel better, there is also the fact that many of the nicer headphones have a much better sound quality to them. People who couldn't hear things in a dictation would try it again with a nice pair of headphones on, and realize that they were hearing things they had never heard before (and no, I'm not talking about the voices in their heads. Those voices speak just to me. I don't share. :-P) Bottom line: Quality headphones can make a huge difference.
A given is a medical dictionary. This is a whole new language, and you need a dictionary to translate. You can choose between having an electronic dictionary that you download onto your computer, or a hardback dictionary that you keep next to your desk. Because the hardback dictionaries end up being gigantic and almost unmanageable (look honey, a really expensive doorstop!) most people opt for the electronic version, although of course it's up to you.
A medical spell checker is an item that can be a giant bonus when it comes to saving you time. When I type "glenohumeral," my word processor shows that the word is incorrect, even though it is just the medical term for the shoulder joint. (I told you it was like speaking another language!) A medical spell checker can save you from having to look up and verify each word before adding it to the medical dictionary, which considering there are hundreds of thousands of medical words, this ends up saving you hundreds of hours of labor, which could be better spent sending me accolades and gifts (dark chocolate if you please.)
I just finished talking about Active Words which is a big help no matter your job but is especially helpful for transcriptionistsExpanders are another piece of invaluable equipment when it comes to saving you time, but since it is not something that a person uses in their normal everyday life, I thought I would dedicate an entire blog to just them. Thanks for reading!
Source:http://employment.families.com/blog/what-equipment-is-nice-to-have-as-a-medical-transcriptionist
